“I have everything, yet I’m not happy.”
This is a typical statement from someone who reaches out to me for a coaching journey.
The symptoms often include struggling to grow their client portfolio as they once did, difficulty with public speaking, feeling like “I’m not performing the way I’d like to”, or simply not feeling as motivated as before.
When I talk about symptoms, I mean the trigger that sparks the restlessness to seek someone to talk to, someone to exchange ideas with. In this case, that someone is me, as a coach and counselor.
Let me be more specific: this issue arises more frequently among men aged 45 to 60, who have already reached the positions they once dreamed of—CEOs, Managing Directors, Country Directors, etc.
What happens?
The motivations, the drivers that brought them to where they are today, won’t be the same ones that will carry them forward for the next 20 or 30 years.
Their past motivations, goals, and achievements were quite tangible, but now they become more intangible—more about personal fulfillment, relationships, play, and truly enjoying what they have built.
BUT they still feel the pressure of performance, which the system demands.
This is the ALT—the pause that makes them question everything.
It’s no longer about one thing at the expense of the other, but about both things together.
Their performance and competence are already there. Now, it’s time to train the muscle of returning to oneself.
How?
✅ Blocking more time for yourself in your schedule. (One of my clients blocks TWO HOURS in his agenda, and no one can touch them!)
✅ Truly delegating. This requires trust. It requires accepting the idea of stepping back and no longer being the person who does 100% of the work to get things done. Now, I see the goal clearly, but I don’t have to do it myself. Instead, I think about who else could do it—allowing them to bring a different perspective, fostering their growth, mentoring them, and giving space to those who will eventually lead the organization.
✅ Having more fun! Both at work and in personal life.
At work: Change the way you run meetings, the setting, the way you exchange ideas. Fewer emails and more short calls? Maybe starting with a genuinely authentic “How are you?”
In personal life: Who is that friend you have so much fun with but hardly ever see? Schedule a beer with them—just like you schedule every other appointment.
✅ Remember who you were before becoming this professional persona.
What did you love doing? What music did you listen to? What foods did you stop eating because they’re “too high in cholesterol”?
It’s these small things that will bring back your motivation, make you feel whole again, and, as a result, restore your top performance.
I’ll sign it for you if you want!
Sometimes, after a first session, I assign a simple task: “Go for a walk in that mountain you used to go to as a child.”
Clients often look at me, surprised or even frustrated:
“Nancy, I came to you for help growing my client portfolio, and you’re asking me to go for a walk in the mountains?”
Well, yes… Exactly that.
Trust me—you’ll tell me all about it later.
Try it for yourself. Pick up those little pieces of yourself that you’ve left scattered along the way… It works!
